WINNIPEG - Waking up after a solid eight hours of sleep for the first time in over a week this Saturday, recent mouth-breather Rob Kristjansson celebrated the return of the almost forgotten ability to breathe through his own nostrils with an all day 30 ROCK marathon and a desultory amount of housework.
Citing the fact that he "couldn't very well watch" the third season internet downloads of the hit NBC sitcom while scrubbing out the oft-neglected bathroom toilet, Kristjansson commented "that Tina Fey is goddam brilliant" as he half-ass washed eight days of filthy dishes while watching the one where the Tracy Jordan character - played by American thespian Tracy Morgan - has figured out that people with money can get away with whatever they want and proceeds to curse his way throughout the entire episode, including a very "raunchy" Martha Stewart show. "Comedy freaking gold!" Kristjansson was heard to exclaim as he left most of the dish-ware "to [needlessly] soak" while he returned to his famously over-priced folding chair and spent the rest of the day enjoying the zany antics of Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) Jack Doneghy (Alec Baldwin) in glamorous New York City, not to mention the episode where they both go to Liz Lemon's high school reunion in White Haven, Pennsylvania.
As of press time, it is unclear whether Kristjansson will address any of the much needed household chores this weekend, especially his bathroom, which is in desperate need of attention, or continue to loaf around watching other iTunes downloads while pretending to write his feature-length screenplay, Alex of East Kildonan.
The Rob Kristjansson Radio Network